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I don’t think people love me. They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love. Who’s going to love the girl that can’t stop crying? The girl that hurts herself? The girl that is losing control? The girl that is so sad she can’t get out of bed? The girl that keeps pushing everyone away? Who’s going to love the monster in me?

the thumbnail is super ugly lol but it’s the best option I have..

the lighting is a little weird..idk why..

I talk about girl crushes, food, why I don’t reblog that often, talents, bad dancing and more! 

STAY ‘TIL THE END for a special clip!

*** also bonus points for people who count how many times I say ‘like’ in this video! I’ll have to work on that (please don’t be annoyed with me!) 

Anyway, thank you guys so much! Love you ♡ xx


random things:

sometimes, after i watch youtube videos, i read the comments and pretend i’m the youtuber and reply to them in my head. it’s like the express lane to imaginary fame

i have moments when i plot little ways to trick someone into liking me. but then i give up because it’s impossible

i don’t find asian guys attractive. but it’s a two edged sword. because i feel like for guys of any other race to like me. they have like this weird asian fetish and that’s gross

i want to travel. so bad. i don’t understand people who don’t enjoy traveling. like you can afford it unlike me so go. squanderer

also girls who play victims. boys will not like you because you’re sad. it’s not tragic, poetic, or beautiful. you are not lana del rey. go take a bath and be attractive